i had asked the thing 
if i would be forgiven.
i had to shake it out 
of her. she told me to
concentrate and ask
again.

i wondered if we were
really apart and if i had
pushed you over there.

i decided not to push
my luck in asking
that.

i imagine things you
will never say to me,
but i prefer to think
that you already have.

it is something warm 
on days like this in
october, when the sun 
waits until noon to grant
everyone else its eye
but your house and your
heart are cold 
as ice.

that goddamn red 
jacket you let me
wear.

i told her i wished that 
i could give you something
in return.

i wish i could grab you up
and bring you into 
some light.